Friday, May 2, 2014
Let me back up a little bit. Way back to the beginning of this school year. We all knew that this would be our most challenging year ever, due to changes in....well....everything. This year separated me from all I held dear: family, ministry, friends and relaxation. After months of crushing pressure, I finally snapped.
I am a child of God. That is one identity that will never change. It took long enough, but God finally convinced me that yes, His grace is sufficient for my needs. Every need, every day.
Enjoying a few weeks of newfound bliss, in the midst of a trying year was short lived. We are in the homestretch now, and blue skies ahead.
So I thought. An injury at work put me out of comission for about a week. Some dental issues had my husband out for a week. Neither of us were much good to the other. Adding to that, two sons with injuries of their own.
Helpless. Not an emotion I'm familiar with. Resentment threatened to overwhelm me. Since I was out of work, couldn't I at least get some computer work done? No. Too much pain. Too much effort to do the most trivial things. Resentment threatened to be to overtaken with guilt. Where was the "I'm in God's hands, nothing can hinder this" mindset I had only a week or so ago?
Just as things were starting to settle down from really being bad to sort of almost being on the mend, I receive a phone call that my Mama is rushed to ER. Really?? REALLY LORD?? HOW MUCH MORE?!?! I knew I was being a whiny butt. In every thing that happened, a voice was telling me it could be worse.
God never left me. God never forsook me. Through all the pain, all the guilt and resentment, He sprinkled little bits of encouragement. Throughout my whole attitude, I knew I was still in God's hands, riding out the storm. The storm, however, was getting tiresome. Calm waters would have been so welcomed at this point.
Then, the Grande Finale of God's encouragement through this trial. An aunt that I only talk to on occasions called to see how Mama was doing. During our conversation, she reminded me just how much God loves us, how He is our provider, and in Him, we place our dependencies. What a breath of fresh air! I knew this of course, but it was just so refreshing to hear someone else confess that truth as well! We have a close knit family--as in we can not speak for a year, then pick up right where we left off. Scattered throughout the country as we are, it's hard for us to get together, so this phone call was extra special.
This is what God was reminding me of: it is HE that encourages us and it is up to HIM to decide what/whom to use. So many times we may come to depend on our families, our church families, our work family, and almost "expect" for them to step up to the plate in our time of need. If we do that, we're letting ourselves up for disappointments big time. Not saying God couldn't use the above mentioned families, but if God wants to use someone new, will we miss it, because we're being so disappointed that people didn't help the way we expected them to? I would have never guessed in a million years that Aunt Judy would call me. What a wonderful encouragement she was!
God has this. No matter what happens, I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God has this.
What about your trials? Does God have your back? Can we trust that even when things don't go the way we want them to, that He's still working things out?
His grace is indeed sufficient for us!